Silence really is golden. In a moment of quiet contemplation, reflection, or even sadness, silence can be precious while at the same time being so fragile. Once broken, it can be impossible to restore. Have you ever made the mistake of opening your mouth when silence would have been preferred? I know I have. And we are not alone.
3 People Who Made the Mistake of Opening Their Mouth.
Job’s wife witnessed his loses and endured the death of her children. She alone was spared death, and the reader would hope that she would be a source of strength and support for her beleaguered husband.
But then, she made the mistake of opening her mouth.
In the one passage where she speaks, it is this: “Do you still hold fast your integrity? Curse God and die” (Job 2:9). If she had just remained silent, she would have spared the piled-on agony she gave her husband. And, history would have been much kinder to her.
She just had to open her mouth.
Job’s friends catch a lot of grief as they should for the advice they gave this stricken man. You’ll recall that Satan had beset Job with the loss of his wealth, family, and health. He was a miserable sight. He used broken pottery to scrape his sores clean (Job 1, 2). When his friends heard of his tragic turn of life, they came together to comfort their old friend. The Bible says, “And they sat with him on the ground seven days and seven nights, and no one spoke a word to him, for they saw that his suffering was very great” (Job 2:13).
But then, all three made the mistake of opening their mouth
Their back and forth with Job lasts from Job 4 – 25. The gist is that Job has obviously sinned and deserves all that has come upon him. Bildad ends by asking Job who can be pure? He says, “how much less man, who is a maggot, and the son of man, who is a worm” (Job 25:6). Wow. I’m sure being likened to a maggot and a worm was really encouraging!
They just had to open their mouth
Peter couldn’t resist. Jesus told him that he (Peter) would deny him (Jesus) three times before morning. That was terribly offensive to Peter’s self-confidence.
Peter made the mistake of opening his mouth.
“Peter said to him, “Even if I must die with you, I will not deny you!” (Matthew 26:35). This is speculation, of course, but I wonder if Jesus just smiled and remained silent. Within a few hours, Peter would feel the pain of his own words. Driven by fear, Peter denied even knowing Jesus.
Wow. He just had to open his mouth.
One Who Didn’t Open His Mouth and Left a Great Example.
Jesus became silent in the middle of an angry mob. John 8 records a group of people seeking to test Jesus and entrap him in his own words. They brought a woman caught in adultery and asked Jesus if he would affirm Moses’ command to stone her or if he would discount the words of the great lawgiver. He did neither.
Jesus began writing on the ground as if he were ignoring them. He was silent. They persisted, so Jesus said, Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her.” He again fell silent and began to write on the ground. After a time, he looked up, and they were all gone.
Jesus used the silence to cause his opponents to reflect on their own lives.
Later, before Pilate, Jesus was oppressed, and he was afflicted, yet he opened not his mouth; like a lamb that is led to the slaughter, and like a sheep that before its shearers is silent, so he opened not his mouth” (Isaiah 53:7). Pilate was amazed at his silence. “He entered his headquarters again and said to Jesus, “Where are you from?” But Jesus gave him no answer. So Pilate said to him, “You will not speak to me? Do you not know that I have authority to release you and authority to crucify you?” (John 19:9, 10).
Jesus did not engage; he did not argue. He spoke only when absolutely necessary. There’s a lesson in that.
When Should I Not Open My Mouth?
Do not open your mouth in the presence of sudden grief. There is no human wisdom that can take away the pain. Solomon says there is a time to weep (Ecclesiastes 3:4). Let the time come and pass – it cannot be rushed. The human mind becomes preoccupied with the pain of the moment and cannot comprehend anything else.
There are no magic words to remove the pain of grief. Instead of talking, try these three things.
- Be Present physically. If possible, be with the hurting friend and just sit. That you took the time and effort to come means more than you know,
- A gentle touch on the arm or shoulder provides a powerful connection to a friend.
- A whispered “I love you and I am praying for you,” says everything that needs to be said at the moment.
Do not open your mouth in the presence of sin. Human wisdom neither believes in nor understands sin. There is nothing that can be offered. Much of sin begins with speech. Disrespectful words that lead to a fight, Envious talk about someone’s successes that produces jealousy or even theft, or flirtatious talk that produces an affair, all good reasons to guard your mouth from more sin.
If you must speak, remember:
- Silently pray for divine wisdom in the moment.
- Sin is intensely personal but your approach cannot be. Anchor your words in the already spoken words of God’s truth.
- Do not minimize the impact or consequences of sinful behavior. You do no favors when you fail to address sin honestly.
Do not open your mouth when you are emotional. Anger, rage, and wrath are all dangerous emotions that easily produce words you wish you could take back. Emotional words are the opposite of wisdom. Pause and let the moment pass before speaking.
- Counting to 10 has always been a smart move. Emotions can cool quickly if we let them. Take a break and allow the moment to pass before speaking.
- Let your words be defined by love of the other person. Refuse to project your emotions onto them.
- Focus only on the matter at hand. Something that happened days or weeks ago has no place in this conversation. If it wasn’t worth dealing with then, it’s not worth dealing with now.
Silence really is golden. Learn that you do not have to speak first, nor do you have to have the last word. Enjoy being silent. Your world will be a happier place.
I would be most grateful if you would leave a comment below. Any applause, criticism, thought, or request would be appreciated.
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