Despair is like a man descending a dark staircase. Below is thick darkness. After three or four steps, all light is gone. But you’ve been told that a very expensive antique is at the bottom just waiting to be retrieved.
You continue down.
Each step now is in total darkness. Suddenly, a step breaks. You flail maddeningly as you fall, but there is nothing but emptiness. You land hard on the floor. Your arm is hurting, hurting terribly. The salty taste of your own blood fills your mouth. Here, at the bottom, there is only the sound of your own breathing, the now ever-present pain in your arm, and the darkness.
Hopeful that you are not seriously injured, you begin to grope about searching for the antique. You find a wall and trace it to a corner, then down another wall, and another, and another. All you know is that the room is small and square. Now, back on the ground, you sweep your arms about searching, but you feel nothing except the ground. Oddly, you cannot even find the steps to return to the light.
You suddenly realize that you were lied to: there is no antique. You have completed your descent into the darkest despair.
To Defeat Despair, Identify the Source
Despair is not random. It is a targeted assault against you. Until you can find its source, you will remain its target and you will suffer an unrelenting attack on your very being.
Despair can arise from within or without. Often, the despondency begins within ourselves. It flows from earlier decisions and actions (sometimes inaction) that we make. We spend money frivolously instead of paying the important bills first, or we ignore the check engine light because we can’t be bothered. Soon, the bill collectors are threatening, and the car demands an expensive repair. Bad health choices, foolish workplace flirtations, or harsh words spoken in an argument can all trigger despair. There are many more examples, but I think you understand.
Despair also comes from the outside. An unreasonable boss making unreasonable demands, that nasty co-worker who seems to enjoy causing chaos. Despair is also nurtured on social media platforms when we are presented with terrible images and stories over which we have no control. (There is a reason it’s called doom-scrolling.)
Ultimately, all despair arises from the evil one. He was the first liar and the first murderer, but most importantly, he is real. While Satan cannot force you to sin (1 Corinthians 10:13), he, as the first influencer (Genesis 3:4 5), continues to spread his toxins freely in the world. He is bound, he is restrained, but he is still a potent enemy. Identifying the devil as the first source of despair sharpens our spiritual resolve and reinforces our need to seek God.
Identifying the devil as the first source of despair sharpens our spiritual resolve and reinforces our need to seek God.
To Defeat Despair, Pray Without Ceasing
You probably expected this one. But it is surely the most powerful tool you have to overcome despair. Paul encourages us to “pray without ceasing” (1 Thessalonians 5:17). Notice the verses on either side. “Rejoice always” (16) and, “give thanks in all circumstances…” (18). So, rejoice, pray, give thanks. Combining these three is a powerful antidote to Satan’s despair.
The last thing Satan wants is for you to be truly happy. He is fine with temporary happiness, but long-term joy is bad for his business. When you are sad, and especially when you despair of the future. the devil can more easily gain your attention and direct you into his brand of chaos. For example, social media can create envy and jealousy when you see the apparent joys of friends who take great vacations and seem to live a carefree life. This drives you to want what they have – which you cannot have – and thus into deeper despair.
However, the Rejoice, Pray, Thank, (RPT) combo destroys that kind of thinking. You find joy in what you have and express genuine thankfulness through prayer. Because of where we begin, in a deep hole of sorts, the RPT may not come easily. It is a learned routine. Still, I believe it to be the best route out of the darkness.
There is just something about talking with God that changes everything.
To Defeat Despair, Serve Someone
Despair makes us feel useless. We are never useless. Even a person with a string of failures is never useless. Seek out someone in need and help them. Find that person and focus all you attention upon them. Despair arises from self-focus
It has been well said that there is always someone worse off than you. Someone is dealing with an illness with a dark prospect. Someone else is hungry while another is homeless. Maybe there is an elderly person who no longer has the strength to tidy and clean their house. The list could go on and on. Can you help?
As you serve someone, do two things. First, graciously accept their thankfulness. To be a Christian is to be gracious. The gratitude of others is a great driver of your desire to serve. But, having accepted their thanks, move on. Do not dwell on it and never broadcast what you’ve done. Three times Jesus reminds us to do good in secret and allow God to handle the rewarding (Matthew 6:4, 6, 18). Those who “toot their own horn” have already gained their reward (Matthew 6:1-4). Solomon says, “Let another praise you, and not your own mouth; a stranger, and not your own lips” (Proverbs 27:2).
Second, give thanks yourself for the blessing of helping someone. You have the ability, the desire, and the strength to serve others. If you are aiding someone who is ill, be mindful of your own better health. If they are lonely, thank God for your friends, including this new friend you are serving. If they are financially struggling, aren’t you glad you have the means to help? You may not be as despairing as you think!
To Defeat Despair, Seek Guidance from the Wise
One of the many blessings of a tightly knit church family is the wisdom of its membership. It’s useful to tap into brethren who can offer sage, moral advice to help ease your fears. As Proverbs says, “iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another” (Proverbs 27:17).
All of us, including you, possess useful knowledge to help guide others. The church is a grand resource for everyday life. Make use of it. At Eastern Shore, we have people in many fields, banking and finance, education, healthcare, automotive repair, and more. They are happy to guide you.
Often, despair thrives on a lack of understanding and knowledge. Gain knowledge and understanding from wherever you can get it.
To Defeat Despair, Examine Yourself
Have you considered how your struggles may have been caused by your own actions or inactions? King David’s failure to control his passion directly led to the sin with Bathsheba (2 Samuel 11). His failure to attend to his own children produced a terribly dysfunctional family, which produced the rape of his daughter by one son, the murder of that son by another son, and that son’s near-successful attempt to take the kingdom from David. What despair in the palace!
God still loved David. He was a man after God’s own heart (1 Samuel 13:14). And God loves you! No matter how far you fall, God is still there and never far (Acts 17:27). But sometimes it is our own foolishness that has separated us from God’s strength (Isaiah 59:1, 2). The good news is that no sin is beyond God’s forgiveness (Isaiah 1:18)
Freedom is Yours!
There is no reason to sink into the mud pit of desperation and depression. Freedom is yours in Christ! Now, no promise is offered for a life of bliss. We live in a broken world among many bad people. But the one in Christ sees differently. His view is altered, and his goals are aligned with the Creator.
If we can help you find that freedom, let us know. We want to help.
I would be most grateful if you would leave a comment below. Any applause, criticism, thought, or request would be appreciated.
